We’ve Been Still COVIDing for 5 Years and Counting

We’re Still COVIDing 5 years later and we’re not alone. As I reflect on the past five years since the COVID-19 pandemic changed the world, I think of the good that it has done for our family as well as the bad and our plans moving forward.

5 Years Later…

Five Years. Wow.

Our family has been what many call Still COVIDing for 5 years now since the first COVID-19 lockdown on March 13, 2020.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I have medical conditions which make it more likely for me to become severely ill or die from COVID, even now, or develop Long COVID.

We also are concerned about our children getting COVID or Long COVID as more and more studies come out regularly of children having lasting effects from their often multiple infections.

I’m not going to go deep into that here, as you can read this linked post if you want to know more.

What I want to focus on here is what our life has been like for the past 5 years as we continue to take precautions while most of the world has returned to normal. I also have done considerable research regarding COVID, Long COVID, and where we are 5 years out from the start, which I’ll share here as well as my references.

Not So Bad at First

Admittedly, I didn’t mind the lockdown at first. At the time our twins were 18 months old and our oldest was 3 years old.

The lockdown meant that my husband got to work from home in our basement which meant I wasn’t home alone with the kids for 10 hours a day now that he didn’t have the commute. Now it’s down to 8-1/2 hours a day.

With twin toddlers and a 3 year old it’s hard to get out and about so having to stay home more sounded like a plan to me. Granted, up until then we had been home A LOT in the past 18 or so months other than doctor appointments or holidays because…it’s a lot of work to get two babies and a toddler out and about.

We finally had started to venture out and do playdates for the kids in the morning since the twins had just dropped down from 2 naps to 1. We had one playdate before the pandemic hit. It was glorious to be able to connect with other moms that lived near us and have our kids play together.

But alas, that wouldn’t happen again.

Things We Missed Early On

Like anyone at that point, we missed seeing family. We missed getting together every few months for family birthday parties with my husband’s side of the family and we missed getting together with my side of the family as well for holidays and just in general.

My mom had been diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer’s Disease just two years earlier at the age of 59 and within the first few months of COVID she took a horrible downward turn from being able to do some basic living things on her own to being completely catatonic and hospitalized.

It was so hard that I couldn’t be there physically to comfort her and help my dad. At that time, my dad could hardly visit her in the hospital, only an hour a day.

It was then that we realized that she didn’t know who my dad was. The nurses would ask her and she had no idea that she was married to him, it was so sad. Soon after we discovered she didn’t know who I am either, her only child.

Crazily enough, she ended up coming out of her catatonic state eventually and then had ebbs and flows over the next four years of being rather lucid to having scary hallucinations to just wanting to sleep all day. I can’t blame her for that, I would too. Eventually, about a year ago she entered memory care.

We missed spending the holidays with our families, exchanging gifts in person, sharing meals together, and just enjoying our time together.

As Time Went On…

As time went on, most of our friends and family went back to normal.

People don’t want to keep thinking about COVID because it’s traumatic and now that there are vaccines and a lower incidence of death from COVID people have just moved on.

I get it, I do, and I wish we could do the same.

The further we get away from the initial cases in the United States and the initial lockdown in March 2020, I have to admit, it gets harder to be a holdout on this and not return to normal.

Gosh, it looks so nice to return to normal.

I’m often reminded though of the long term effects of past COVID infections on the brain, the heart, the immune system, and all other systems of the body. I knew that this would be an issue from early on but it wasn’t until the last couple of years that enough data has been compiled to show the lasting effects.

I’m already at a higher risk for more autoimmune diseases and Early-Onset Alzheimer’s Disease, if I got COVID I’d be at an even higher risk.

It’s been shown that COVID-19 can increase your risk of developing an autoimmune disease and with such a strong genetic history of autoimmune disease in the family, they’re already at high risk. They’re also at an increased risk for Early-Onset Alzheimer’s Disease due to my mother’s diagnosis.

Quite honestly, and bluntly, if it were just me I’d be out and about and returning to normal like everyone else. One of the things about living with a diagnosis of clinical depression for basically my whole life is I really don’t give a crap what happens to me, I’m only concerned about my children.

The growing body of research regarding long term effects on children in terms of academic achievement, IQ, and overall health, is what keeps us doing what we’re doing.

More studies come out all the time about Long COVID in children including one from JAMA which reported that, children and teens had prolonged long COVID symptoms in almost every organ system, and most had multiple symptoms affecting more than one system.

The image below shows all the symptoms and conditions associated with long COVID in children, from the American Academy of Pediatrics. If you want to see it bigger, click on the image.

I have the ability, the time, and the resources to keep my kids safe…so as a mother, why wouldn’t I?

Our New Normal

Our new normal for our family is spending time, outdoors, with other COVID-cautious friends while our children play together.

Our new normal is to only attend family gatherings that are outdoors and that we can stay a distance away from others to help our odds of staying healthy.

Our new normal is my husband continuing to work from home which has been amazing for his productivity, promotions, and for the mental health of all of us in our household. It’s so nice to have that extra time with him instead of him commuting almost an hour to work each way with traffic, to not need to worry about what the weather is like or what traffic will be like, and to not even need a second vehicle at this time.

We actually sold his vehicle and just have had our minivan for the past few years and it’s been great! Since he doesn’t drive to work there is no reason for a second vehicle at this point.

Our New Normal is not going indoors if we don’t need to and masking if we do have to go indoors. Sure, we get weird looks, but I’d rather get weird looks than get sick.

Our new normal is having everything delivered or doing drive-up orders including groceries, toiletries, clothing, and more. The nice thing is we’re also supporting the people who work for local delivery services so that’s a plus! Going to the grocery store, or any store, with 3 children sounds like a headache anyway! We had started getting grocery delivery when the twins were born and haven’t stopped since!

Our new normal is our kids participating in public school online instead of in-person. Our kids love their online school because they’re able to hang out with their classmates, have me help them 1:1 as they need it, get to work at their own (often accelerated) pace, and don’t have to spend all day at school.

As a former school psychologist I never planned on having my kids not go to school in-person but that’s what we’ve chosen as a family and what we continue to choose. My kids are thriving in online school and really love it. With so many things going on in the country, even if it weren’t for COVID I’d still feel safer having them do online school at home than be in-person for many reasons, this link showing another concern.

We’re Not Alone

I’m sure many people reading this think I’m crazy, a horrible mother, and that we’re the only ones like this.

I can assure you that we are not alone and as a mother and someone highly trained in psychology, I’m ensuring my children still have a great childhood.

There are still, even 5 years later, many Still COVIDing groups out there (though most don’t call themselves that due to the new national administration…) where all sorts of people have the same concerns I have as we follow the science to see how detrimental this all is to us as a whole.

Though we’re rather isolated, we do still create social opportunities for our three children who are now all in online school. They get to meet with their classmates online everyday, we have playdates with other COVID-cautious families including a scouts group we’ve created, and we still go on adventures throughout the year and at least one vacation every summer.

Our oldest loves his virtual karate class and Lego club as well as all the social activities offered through online school.

Our twins, now 6 years old, just love the company of each other (and their big brother) but could care less if other kids were around or not. We do coax them to interact with others but they’re still rather shy. I can’t blame them as most of their early life we had been keeping them away from others, only within the past couple years have we asked them to branch out.

Plus…I was super shy as a kid even though I had a very typical childhood, spending my days at school or daycare, and ended up making plenty of friends as I grew older until my mid-20s. It’s been increasingly more difficult once I finished graduate school and started my career then became a mom, etc. but all that to say, I’m sure my kids will be fine overall in terms of social interaction.

A Scare and a Reminder

This past Christmas we decided to break our COVID-cautious rules and be unmasked at two small family gatherings. My husband had requested this and he’s been so great with all of this over the years that I gave in.

We kept our visits to small groups, just 2 at the first gathering and 5 at the second. However, we ended up getting sick.

Luckily, in a sense, it was just Influenza and not COVID. Also luckily, somehow only my husband and I got it and the kids were spared.

This was a good reminder of why we mask indoors, even if it was ‘just’ influenza. Currently there are kids my kids’ ages who are dying from influenza so it’s not innocent either.

For anyone who says it’s good to get sick to build up an immune system, I used to think that too but new data is showing repeat infection is actually more damaging than once thought.

Though we’re 5 years into this, as I write this, there are 16 states, including where I live, that are within the High Risk level for COVID right now, influenza is still alarmingly high, and experts are warning that the Bird Flu could trigger the next global pandemic.

There are studies about how Long COVID is hurting the workforce overall as many can’t return to work due to the severity of their symptoms.

For the 5 year anniversary, the New York Times just posted an article with all sorts of graphs which you can access here, including the one below about the incidence of U.S. adults reporting a disability. More proof that COVID isn’t just an illness that you get better from, there are often long-lasting effects.

Another New York Times article paints a Clearer Picture of COVID’s Lasting Effects including that it’s estimated that 400 million people worldwide have been diagnosed with some form of long COVID and so many other health problems after a COVID infection, even those who didn’t have underlying conditions. In short, the lungs, the gut, the brain, the heart, and the circulatory system are affected by COVID.

As with any decision I make, there is ample data to back up why we’re so cautious.

Improvements in the Past 5 Years

As I illuded to earlier, there are some things that have improved over the past 5 years as we’ve been more isolated due to concerns about COVID (and now other illnesses as well)…

Unlike many relationships and marriages that struggled and/or ended during the lockdown period 5 years ago, ours has only gotten stronger.

Our marriage has improved over the past five years. Our marriage was never ‘in trouble’ but when we had twin babies and a toddler, little to no sleep, me battling postpartum depression, and being home alone with them 10 hours a day it was incredibly difficult on all of us. We were in survival mode for the first 18 months of the twins’ lives until COVID hit and slowed us all down.

Once my husband got to start working from home we have been less stressed and have more family time together. He’s able to concentrate on work more without being in a cubicle situation and having his own office downstairs. He still connects with coworkers many times a day as much of his team works from home across the country and even those who do go into the office are available via video call and Slack.

We have more time together as a family since he doesn’t have his long commute and we are more relaxed overall.

Luckily we had moved to a larger home a year before COVID hit so we have plenty of space to spread out, though our kids tend to want to always be in the same room together during the day.

Our kids’ relationships with each other are so close, it’s so sweet. Though the twins are just in Kindergarten and our oldest is in 3rd grade, they talk of always living together and honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they did. We want them to have as normal of a life as possible and give them a lot of independence and flexibility.

Having our kids participate in online school instead of in-person school means we don’t have the stress of getting everyone ready and out the door in the morning. Sure, we all still get ready in the morning and head off to our respective desks when it’s time for school but it’s not this big rushed, hurried, and anxiety-provoking affair every morning.

Over the past 5 years I’ve transformed a lot. I went from battling postpartum depression to starting a blog to help other moms of twins, starting crafting using a Cricut machine, and as of 5 months ago, starting a very part-time virtual psychometrist position. We’re in a very fortunate position whereas my husband makes enough money that I don’t have to but I like to keep busy and use the money from my psychometrist job to further pay down our only debt, our mortgage.

Over the years I’ve worked diligently on my blog learning all that I possibly can every spare minute I have, making some money with that blog, making and selling digital products, and expanding it and starting a second blog.

All of this while my husband works full time in the basement and I help my kids with their online school and activities throughout the day.

Plus of course all the other duties of running the household from meal planning to budgeting to ensuring we all have everything we need to cleaning. Though we’re home, it’s still a very busy life.

And yes, my husband helps out too of course. We’re all about gender equality here. We trade off cooking and doing dishes and we both are involved in the budget though I tend to work more with it since I’m spending money ensuring we have the groceries and other daily supplies always on hand.

If We Were To “Go Back to Normal”

Sometimes I sit back and think, ok, if I we were to go back to normal, whatever that is, what would it look like? How much would our lives really change?

What wouldn’t change

• My husband would still work from home
• I’d still work from home
• Our kids would still be in online school (again, many reasons for this)
• We’d still mask at the doctor’s office because eww, sick people all over!
• We still would go to outdoor events with plenty of room to distance including car shows, our county fair, and high school football games.

What would change

• We’d attend indoor celebrations with family like we used to
• We’d have visits with grandparents throughout the year indoors instead of mainly just during the warm months, outdoors
• We’d go into stores, shopping malls, and attend sports events such as our state teams in stadiums

Really though, that’s what, maybe 15 days out of the year that would be different than they are currently?

We’re Not Struggling

Though we miss the good old days pre-pandemic, it helps that our kids don’t know any different so they’ve been champs throughout all of this.

We’re not struggling as many probably think. We live pretty typical lives overall and have deeper connections with each other since we’re always together.

We don’t really miss eating out since we didn’t do that much anyway with 3 little kids and a lot of food sensitivities between my oldest and myself.

We’re doing really well all together as we continue to protect ourselves from COVID and other illnesses for the time being.

The kids are thriving in school, my husband has had promotions and raises since starting to work at home (thus proving ppl working remotely can still do a kick-ass job), and other than my autoimmune and other health issues, I’m doing alright too.

We miss seeing our families as much as we once did but hope to see them outdoors more in the future and have been doing so more over the past couple of years.

Life is NOT what we expected it to be, I never thought I’d be a stay at home mom, never thought we’d have our kids do online school, never thought I’d do anything other than be a school psychologist, and never thought there would be a pandemic but here we are.

Looking to the Future

Overall, we’re doing well and we’re glad that we won’t have to deal with Long COVID and all the other crap that can come with it.

At this time, we are not going to ‘live our life like it’s the flu‘, we are going to continue to protect ourselves and live responsibly, for all the reasons I’ve mentioned above.

For anyone wondering, now that our kids are older, we have talks with them all the time about how they feel about still masking, keeping distance outdoors when not masked, etc. and they say it’s fine. They saw how sick my husband and I were with influenza, when we took breaks being quarantined in our room, and they don’t want to get that sick.

Yes, I know, it’s normal for kids to get sick from time to time but that’s not what we’re talking about here (see above or the references below). Our oldest even blamed me for bringing such a bad illness into the house since we were the ones who said it was ok not to mask at Christmas last year. That hit me hard but he’s right.

Key Takeaways

I have the ability, the time, and the resources to keep my kids safe…so as a mother, why wouldn’t I? As with any decision I make, there is ample data to back up why we’re so cautious (see references below).

References

• Autoimmune Disease by the Cleveland Clinic
• Bird Flu leads to Brain Damage by CIDRAP
• We Don’t Need to “Build Up Immunity” in order to be ‘well’
• Danger of Repeat Infection by the American Medical Association
• Long COVID in Children by the America Academy of Pediatrics
• Long COVID is hurting the workforce by Yale Medicine
• Effects of Long COVID by CIDRAP
• Long COVID in Children by Mass General Brigham
• Long Term Effects of COVID, don’t ‘live life like it’s the flu”
• Clearer Picture of COVID’s Lasting Effects by the New York Times

Note about Comments

If you’re continuing to take precautions like we are, we’d love to hear from you!

If you’re someone who has been triggered by this post and wants to leave a nasty comment, don’t bother, I won’t approve it to be shown on the site so you’re just wasting your time.

Nicole Prom, M.S.Ed., Ed.S.

Founder, Professional Blogger at The Way it Really Is, LLC | [email protected] | Website

As a mom of identical twins and a son two years older, I have gained invaluable experience in the realm, and chaos, of parenting. With a Master's Degree and Education Specialist Degree in School Psychology, I spent years as a school psychologist, helping children navigate through their educational and emotional challenges. Now as a stay at home mom and professional blogger, I combine my areas of expertise to help you in your parenting journey.