Ever wonder what it’s like to have 5 month old twins and a 2 year old? As one would expect, it’s rather hectic but we got through it and you can too!
2x the Babies, Twice the Work
Having a baby is hard. I learned that with my first child.
Having twin babies is even harder.
Two diapers to change, two babies to feed, needing to produce twice the milk to feed the babies, two sleep schedules to try and navigate, and more. And only one me at home during the day to help the two babies plus my 2 year old.
Being a stay at home mom with twins and a spirited toddler is incredibly hard.
No breaks, no time to think, no talking to adults, just pumping, feeding, changing diapers, and hoping they’ll nap.
Honestly, some days I’m just hoping I can make it until my husband gets home from work.
It’s easy to post all the happy stuff to Facebook and that’s generally what I do. So many times I’ve wanted to post about my struggles but I try not to because I don’t want to complain and I don’t want to bother anyone.
I can’t keep pretending.
I realize I’m very fortunate to have children. I’m very fortunate that they are all relatively healthy and that I’m able to be a stay at home mom for them.
Doesn’t mean it’s all happy and perfect though, that’s for sure.
It’s really hard having two babies at once.
I’m trying to get them on the same schedule, which is what every twin mom says I should do, but it’s really hard to do.
Waking one baby when the other wakes and the one you woke gives you the “wtf?!” look when you wake him then proceeds to become very upset because you woke a sleeping baby.
I mean really, who does that?!
Ok, I’ve done it a couple times and am left with an overtired baby, and for what gain? In hopes that later they will sleep at the same time so I can do something really crazy such as wash the bottle dishes and pump parts in peace? Or go to the bathroom without someone crying in the background?
Despite my best efforts, waking babies or not, I rarely have time to even do those things.
(Months later, I did somehow eventually get them on the same nap schedule, for the most part. I honestly don’t totally remember how I did this but I’m sure there was a decent amount of crying and frustration from all of us. It was really nice when they napped at the same time though.)
Challenges with 5 Month Old Twins
The first part of this post was written when my twins were 5 months old and my oldest was 2. However, I’m writing the rest of this blog post about 4 years after they were 5 months old so having a hard time remembering.
However, I do know that at that time the twins still weren’t sleeping well at night, waking up between 2-4 times a night to be fed or just in general.
I was still exclusively pumping for them every 3 hours. One twin was just starting his helmet and PT appointments so we had a lot of driving and hauling all 3 kids around to those appointments in the snowy and cold Minnesota winter, by myself.
I’m fortunate enough to have a very supportive and helpful husband but someone has to work to make money for us to live off of so during the day it was just me at home with all 3 of them for about 10 hours a day since he had to commute.
We also were in the process of moving to a bigger house, so we were working on packing and all of that ‘fun stuff’.
We still struggled with getting them to nap at the same time, dealing with both crying at the same time and constantly having to choose who to tend to first, and more.
We were still in the thick of it.
Challenges of Having a 2 Year Old Singleton
Having a 2 year old singleton who had just gotten his world rocked by his twin brothers being born unexpectedly and going from being the focus of mom and dad’s world to…well…not the only focus of our world, was rough on him.
Even though we prepped him the best we could, it’s still a huge adjustment for a little guy. The “terrible twos” were in full swing as well which further compounded things.
With this came some acting out behaviors, refusing sleep, being over the top full of energy – especially when I was trying to get the babies to sleep.
All in all though, looking back years later, he did a great job.
He actually helped out a lot, which I asked him to do in part to actually help me but also to help him feel more part of the family, because he is! It’s so hard when completely overwhelmed with twins to also at least try and make sure the other child doesn’t feel abandoned.
Trying to Calm Twin Babies
I still feel like I was a good stay at home mom for my little guys, even though I was anxious during pregnancy and in so much constant pain. I also know I did my best after my twins were born, even though I was battling undiagnosed postpartum depression and trying to heal physically from a rough labor.
I found it hard to hold my twin babies because I was always attached to a pump, changing diapers, or feeding them and then getting them down for a nap.
When I held one, the other started to cry. I could never make all 3 of my kids happy at the same time and it was so hard.
Looking back, I’m sad I missed the baby snuggles since they’re my last babies.
Many times I wanted to give up completely. I’m glad I didn’t.
Hang in There
It did eventually get better. Once I admitted to myself and my husband that I needed emotional help regarding the feelings and thoughts I was having and started seeing a therapist, things started to look up.
Once I was on meds after over 6 months of weekly therapy, things got even better as the overwhelming internal rage finally dissipated. You can read more about my journey regarding postpartum depression and rage by clicking the image below which will take you to a blog post dedicated to the topic.
Even if you don’t have PPD like I did, things will get better as your twin babies age. The first year was indeed the most difficult. Most moms of twins will tell you the same.
Different Stages, Different Challenges
I won’t lie, it is difficult when twin babies turn into twin toddlers and more mobile. However, by then other things have gotten worked out some such as naps and feeding. They’re also able to communicate a bit more than as babies.
My boys are now 4 years old and still get in fights, especially with their 6 year old big brother. Despite all their loudness and roughhousing, it’s still less stressful than when they were babies and constantly crying, having blowouts, throwing up, I was exclusively pumping, and bring them to appointments every week or so.
They also have their adorable moments where they help each other out, comfort each other, have little conversations and make up little games together.
Life isn’t perfect but after the first year it really does get better. At least it did for us.
Hang in there and big hugs to you!!
As a mom of identical twins and a son two years older, I have gained invaluable experience in the realm, and chaos, of parenting. With a Master's Degree and Education Specialist Degree in School Psychology, I spent years as a school psychologist, helping children navigate through their educational and emotional challenges. Now as a stay at home mom and professional blogger, I combine my areas of expertise to help you in your parenting journey.